The days are hot and sticky and summer isn’t over yet. But the transition to fall is around the corner. Back to kids in school, far fewer colleagues and friends away and shorter, cooler days.
As a parent to young kids, sometimes I look at kids and think - they are just acting out what we’re all feeling inside. Children can really struggle with transitions and endings. Kids have to say goodbye to their classroom routines and then go into a summer where everything they know is upended. Any given week they might start a new camp, go on trips, or stay home with working parents. Kids refusing to go to sleep, acting newly defiant, or suddenly regressing - all these reactions make sense from a child development perspective. Time, support from caregivers, and new routines are all that we can do to help them.
Transitions and endings are hard for kids. But what about adults? Kids can let the whole household know they’re having a hard time. When I see kids acting out loud, I also think about the adults who might have the same reactions inside but aren’t letting it out. Because we’re adults, we should have it together. We might tell ourselves we shouldn’t be sad about saying goodbye to our workplace when we’re changing jobs, or moving to a new city, or saying goodbye to a therapist of many years. It’s not logical, there’s no point to indulging these feelings, we put a lid on it and get on with the work of being an adult.
We all have an inner child inside of us. Having strong emotions and bodily reactions with transitions isn’t something that fully goes away as we grow up. What if you gave yourself more space to feel your feelings of sadness or loss, and treated yourself with loving kindness? As we contemplate the end of summer, what might your inner child need to face upcoming transitions? Some kids need 5 minute warnings before leaving the playground, and benefit from visual schedules and soothing rituals. Is there a ritual you could incorporate to say goodbye, or could you build in more breathing room by taking time off work, asking for help, or declining extra responsibilities?
As one season comes to an end, I hope you can give your inner child a hug and reassure yourself that you’ll get through any upcoming transitions you’re facing.
